I just have to do this today, since I can’t pick up the phone and call my Mom. I was reading one of Laura Gunn’s friend Libby’s blog – Crunchy Peas (cute name, beautiful website), and she had done a memorial blog entry for her Mom. She said:
“There are times when I look in the mirror and it is as if I am seeing her face, and times when I say something and it is if I am hearing her voice. The pain of losing her is both soothed and yet still fresh.”
Wow, how I can relate to that! I never want to forget my Mom, or “get over” her passing – as has been innocently suggested by someone who has not yet lost a parent. Something, anything, will come to mind and I have a warm, sweet feeling that she is near — and then the tidal wave of loss overcomes me. I still feel that way about my Dad and he has been gone for over 30 years!
I decided yesterday that it was time for me to go through the boxes of my Mom’s memorabilia. I have been putting it off, and off and off. As you know, if you are a Quilting Stash regular, I talk a lot about my Mom and draw from the culture that she raised me in a LOT — (lemon cake recipe, Apron Strings quilt, Tunnel of Fudge cake recipe in the January newsletter).
But my Mom’s birthday is today, and I just can’t take flowers to the graveyard one more time right now. It drains me so much emotionally, and I start thinking about all of the family members who are there in the same cemetery, and then I just sit and cry for the missing of all of them.
So, I’m going to share a couple things about my Mom with you – funny things that I have found. My Mom kept everything — and I do mean EVERYTHING. I found two items that will illustrate that for you:
The ad for the trailer that we owned in 1964! We took one family trip in it before my Dad got tired of having it parked in front of our house and sold it. It was so fun playing in the trailer though – my sister, Judie, and I played “camping” in it.
How about a collection of nuclear threat brochures? Not that we ever had a family evacuation plan, but it’s so indicative of life during the sixties. I looked through them and there is a lot of common sense stuff in there. The illustrations are priceless.
Ok, so there you have it. I have a lot of wading to do in those boxes, then I have the family pictures to catagorize, scan, and digitize so my siblings have copies of every picture. It’s fun to see what was important to my Mom and read things that others wrote in cards and letters to her that give me a little closer insight to my very private Mom. And a lot of questions that she isn’t around to answer.
Here is a little scrapbook of pictures of my Mom — my favorite pictures of her that capture the essence of who she was.
Little Joyce, about 4 years old, with her dog, Skippy.
Isn’t this picture precious?! All dressed up for her part in the Portuguese Fiesta, about 6 years old.
Joyce, at about 16 years old, in a dress made by her Mom, who made all of my mother’s clothes.
Just two years later, a beautiful bride. No wonder my Dad fell in love with her — she was simply beautiful and had so much class and style.
With my Mom, when I was about 6.
My parents, Floyd and Joyce, on New Year’s Eve in 1964. What a pair!
The last picture taken with my Mom, at my first quilt retreat in Cambria – with my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Beth. If we had only known what was to come in two short months… ah, but we never do. I do have precious memories of the time spent with my Mom in Cambria, a place that she loved to visit.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little peek into my Mom.
Happy Birthday, Mommy!
Annie!
That is the sweetest tribute. I haven’t lost a parent yet, but I did lose my older brother 16 years ago in December. I still have sweet remembrances of our time together growing up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your mom.
Luv ya! Lauri
Just read your Happy Birthday Mom blog. There are tears in my eyes,tightness in my heart. I lost my mom 23 years ago this month which is excectly how much older than me she was. I was born on her birthday. I loved her dearly. It is a lost you never get over.
Toddy in St.Pete, FL
The four year anniversary of my Mom’s death is in two weeks. I can soooo relate to your comments about the “memory triggers”. Christmas is like that for me – my Mom was big on the decorating and every time I start gearing up for the holidays I am reminded of her with both fondness and sadness.
You have so many wonderful pictures of your Mom that I hope one day you will do a memorial quilt to her. I have one planned for my grandmother (my Mom’s Mom who died the year after her daughter did) that will incorporate pictures and the collection of handkerchiefs we found when going through her stuff. I’m looking for just the right “trigger” for a similar quilt for my Mom.
I remain comforted by the sentiment expressed by a reader to a newspaper advice columnist: “You may grieve your loss every day of your life, but more importantly, rejoice in the supreme fortune to have had such a fantastic person and friend in your life.”
Vivian, Bronx, NY
Hi, I found your note on this site and when I read about your Mom and you visiting Cambria, I thought-Wow, my brother has a shop there that I’ve never visited and you’ve probably been there! It is called Moonstone Redwood. He takes old redwood and makes it into cool stuff. Check it out next time you’re in Cambria! Cheryl 🙂
A marvelous tribute to a special mom. I am fortunate to still have both of my parents, but my dad is in a nursing home and although I see him every day, many days I cry all the way home. I miss him so much, as he was always in the yard working on his flowers, or on the computer recording church history or emailing friends. I know my day is coming when I will have to say goodbye, but my heart aches just thinking about it. You have done a marvelous thing to share your love for your mom with us, reminding us how very special our parents are to us. Thank you!